Falling in Love

There are times when we try to keep ourselves from falling in love with someone who has already captured our attention. It's very difficult, really. It can be likened to hanging onto a lopsided cliff that is pointing downwards. It's like the whole universe conspired together just to make you fall, and you're using all your might just to fight them. Not many succeed in their efforts, because it's just so much easier to let go than to fight a one-sided battle.

But the problem really isn't in the matter of letting the chips fall where they may, it's more on not knowing what lies at the bottom of the cliff. Will there be someone or something to catch you? Or are you going to fall straight into your oblivion?

People don't like being in the dark, they like to know what's on the other side of the ocean before attempting to cross it. They want to see if it's worth the try. They'd rather stay where they are than be subjected to uncertainty. And that's what makes letting go of the cliff a very hard decision.

But if we don't try, how will we ever know? Sometimes this is what changes the minds of people. It is a powerful question that makes the rusty knobs in our minds to turn and start working again. It is what pushes us to take the risk despite not knowing what's in store for us after all this. If we don't try, we will never get anywhere, stuck forever between yesterday and now. As they say, making the first step is equal to finishing half of the way.

So now let us return to the matter at hand: Falling in love.

Loving isn't easy, in fact, it's downright difficult, especially if it's unrequited. It can drive you insane, give you many sleepless nights, and turn you inside-out. But if we trace back to way back when, love has always been this way. And yet many people still take the risk. It might even get us thinking, What is it with love that gives it this kind of power over people? But there is no use of asking such a question, because love has always been one of the words that are most difficult to explain.

There is no case of loving where pain is not involved, because if there has been, that wasn't love at all. No matter how much a couple loves each other, they will hurt each other whether they did it on purpose or not. That's just the way it is. Pain is an inevitable part of loving. So, does that mean that to avoid getting hurt, we must avoid love? There is actually no point in babying ourselves, whether we like it or not, whether we stop it or not, sooner or later, we will still love. That's just the way it is. Even those who grew old but didn't marry have felt love atleast once. No one can escape love. That, too, is inevitable.

The amazing thing about love is that, it, itself can soothe the pain it causes. That is probably why we easily forgive the ones we love even when they've hurt us. Love makes us stronger. It gives us the courage to endure the pain. When a couple truly loves each other, they muster up the courage to fight for their love even when many are against it. That is how powerful love can be.

But what if, as mentions earlier, your love is unrequited?

This kind of love is twice, if not more times, as painful as loving someone who loves you but continues to hurt you. It is when you feel love for someone who doesn't return the feelings. And if you get hurt, there's nothing you can do. You can't even expect the one you love to pick you up when stumble. A tragic story, as some may say, but it happens more often than some may think. So, does that mean that you shouldn't fall in love with someone who doesn't love you? There's really no point. As already said, trying to keep yourself from falling is VERY DIFFICULT. It requires tremendous amounts of effort to control yourself and your feelings. So, before you even try, here are the possible scenarios that could happen if you just let everything unfold by themselves (in short, you fall.):

1. You act like nothing happened, and eventually, nothing does happen, the feeling just fades.

2. You act like nothing happened, but it is, as what we literally call it, an ACT. You pretend like it's nothing, but the feeling gets worse as time goes by.

3. You don't make friends with them, ignore them, and leave everything be, and later on will just fall out of love.

4. You don't make friends with them, ignore them, and leave everything be, but suffer silently in your heart.

5. You immediately tell them how you feel and they turn away.

6. You immediately tell them how you feel, but you only become friends.

7. You immediately tell them how you feel and they tell you that they've been feeling the same way too. (Lucky you.)

8. You befriend them, wait until you become close before telling them how you feel, but they turn away, or an awkwardness settles over your friendship.

9. You befriend them, wait until you become close before telling them how you feel, but you only remain as friends.

10. You befriend them, wait until you become close before telling them how you feel, and they confess that they feel the same for you. (Good for you.)

11. You become close/bestfriends with them, but kept your feelings a secret. You hang out together often and become their closest confidant, but they only see you as a friend. Thus, you got friendzoned.

12. You become close/bestfriends with them, but kept your feelings a secret. You hang out together often and become their closest confidant. Eventually they develop feelings for you. (Happy ending?)

In only three scenarios did you end up with your love being returned. What does that say to you? Does it scream "DON'T FALL IN LOVE!!!"? That's actually not the idea here. The point of showing the scenarios is to tell you that your decisions play a key role in defining what will happen to your future.

Whatever happens, always remember that you shouldn't have any regrets by the end of everything. If there is someone you love, tell them. If that makes you lose the friendship, that's okay. If they do turn away from you, it simply means that they aren't the one for you now or maybe they aren't the one for you ever. The point is, atleast you tried. Atleast now you know what that road had in store. Rather than spending a lifetime regretting that you didn't know what could have happened if you told them what you really feel. There is a saying, "If everyone just said what they thought then there would be a ton more tears, a ton more heartbreaks, and a ton more true loves." Think about it. We regret the things we didn't do more than the things we did do.

That said, don't be afraid to fall in love. It's gonna be crazy, but then again, how can you be old and wise, if you were never young and crazy? There are lots of people out there who will only make you cry, but there exist that person who is worth every tear and hardship. Just don't close your doors to anyone, because who knows when that right one will come knocking on your door? If you are too afraid to take the risk of falling, you may forever lose the chance to finally be with the right person. And really, that is something you would regret for the rest of your life. "Don't go out and search, because you might not find it; Don't sit and wait, because it might not find you; Just go along your path and see what stumbles on your way." So for now, don't worry about it if you fall in love with a lot of wrong people, because the right person will still eventually find his/her way to you anyway. And that person wouldn't care about who you used to be, who you've been with and what you've done, because all he/she would care about is your now and the tomorrow that you will be spending together. You just have to wait. Wait and not worry about making lots of mistakes, because when it really counts, these mistakes will be the ones that shape you into the person you are to be. Don't regret them because they are a part of who you are, and who you are is exactly how that right one will love you.

Everything we do, everything we feel, and everything we go through, has a purpose. We may not know those purposes now, but later on, they will reveal themselves to us. All questions in your life will be answered in due time. So, for now, learn from all the mistakes you've made, but don't let them keep you from moving forward and finding out what they all happened for. It doesn't matter how many times you failed in love, who you'll be spending the rest of your life with is what really counts. Love a lot, even if you get hurt a lot as well, because it will all be worth it in the end.