Kingless Queen

In the deep recesses of my heart

there lies a lingering feeling
a space
a void
empty
unoccupied
but
reserved
for you
and only for you.
Vacant it shall remain
until the day
you decide
to clear the cobwebs
to loosen the chains
to unlock the doors
and make way
for me
in your mind
in your heart
in your life.
Then
and only then
will you finally
take possession
of this throne
that is only waiting
for its king
to lay
his claim
on this crown
on this kingless queen.

Presence

You're confusing me
Spinning me around like a top;
You keep me from careening off the palm of your hands
captivated
entrapped
imprisoned
by this situation.
by you.

I am on my toes
eager for the next exchange
I await it so fervently,
but patiently
It consumes the unfilled spaces
in my thoughts
in my heart
in my life
now there is a presence.
now there is you.

I will not assume anymore

I told myself I would not assume.
No matter what the signs may point to
unless it is stated plainly
I must remain on the null.
In math, I could assume
I could deduce
I could infer
but not in this
not in love
not in life
Lest I concede
to suffer another broken heart
that could
would
should
be
avoided.

Hence
I
will
not
assume
anymore;
not here
not with you
not in what you say or do.

Worth the Wait

Love is greatest of all emotions, they say.

It is one capable of making a person view life in a different way.

Yet love is so often taken for granted or misused

which is why many hearts end up broken and bruised.

But love, when it is true, when it is right

is worthy of the hardships and worthy of the fight.

And such is why so many persist and take their chance

To find the one, that special partner in this lifetime dance.

But as for me, right now my lovelife is at a standstill.

Yet I have faith because I know all this is a part of His will.

And my patience is just being tested

So I will wait, for His plan cannot be bested.

I don't know what lies in the depths of my journey.

I don't even know who and when I'm going to marry.

But to my future partner, I may not know who you are

But I know that the time for us to meet is no longer that very far.

So until then, I will be right here, waiting.

I may get lonely sometimes, but I'm definitely not hurrying.

They say the longer one waits, the better the coming person will be,

the sweeter the love, the more precious depth there is to "we".

So even though I know that waiting can be hard and boring,

and though sometimes it can also be considered tiring.

But I won't give up, waiting is what I'll continue to do,

I know it'll be worth every second when I'm finally with you.

Because you're gonna meet all my standards, be my every dream come true

even the dreams I had but never really knew.

Our story would be one far above all of my fantasies,

because it'd be a reality written by the Greatest Author of love stories.

Though maybe at some point I may have gone and lost my way

But still I know we'd find our way to each other someday.

And I would tell you that I waited for you for so long

but even then I knew you'd be worth it all along.

If Only I'm Just Dreaming

Lately I've been feeling out of sorts.
A lot has been weighing on my mind since that week.
The things you did, the words you said, they got me so confused.
And now I'm pondering if this was all just your ruse.

 I always thought to never trust a guy who tells a girl they're beautiful
as if that's the most normal thing to do or say.
As much as it's music to the ears of women, to me they're more like warning bells sounding beware,
Because at the end of the day, it's the girl that will cry, and the guy that doesn't really care.

 But because of the things you did, I just can't help but wonder.
And I keep thinking of you even when I don't intend to.
I gotta stop this now, because I know this feeling very well,
I know where this ends, but I'm still getting caught under your spell.

 This situation, I don't want it, it's not supposed to be like this.
Once again, I'm in dichotomy. My heart and mind just don't seem to go the same way.
"Leave me be", says my mind, "I don't want you here."
But ever so stubborn, my heart whispers, "I will keep you near.."

 Tell me that it isn't real. Tell me it's just a fantasy.
Tell me it's just a dream, and maybe, just maybe, it's okay to keep dreaming.
Because there's no danger if it's not real.
I won't really fall if it's just make-believe what I feel.

 And if it's not a dream, and you're just playing around.
I'm telling you now that my heart isn't something to toy with.
Because my heart is weak, it falls faster than normally,
So I can't let my guard down, I gotta keep these walls around me.

 And if the feeling's real, and you're trying to get to me.
It's gonna be hard, because I don't intend to give up at all.
I have every reason not to ever let you begin,
Even if you find every conviction, I can't let you barge in.

 And as much as I enjoy such kind of attention, I gotta ask you to stop.
I don't want to misinterpret, I don't want to get my hopes up again.
Because seeing how you are, I don't even think it's likely
that a guy like you would ever go for a girl like me.

 And now if it was all up to me, I'd make this all just part of a dream,
A dream that's gotten out of hand and I need to snap out of.
So now, wake me up, because I'm falling fast, and I don't want to.
No, I don't want to, especially not with you.

Waiting

Your voice echoes in my mind

and I hear longing and melancholy behind

the song you sing is reaching out, calling, wanting

and I know you're not over her and that you're still waiting.

So now what am I supposed to do?

I don't even know how I really feel for you.

But I sense sadness in my heart

And I know that in this you have played a part.

Of what reason is this sadness, I do not know

Was it the way you sang that brings this sorrow?

But I also wonder if I'm not just overthinking.

If there was no deeper meaning to the songs you were singing.

And if I am really just thinking too much,

is there a way for me to confirm such?

Because I don't think it would affect me this way

But I hope to know more of your story someday.

And if it's true, if you really are still in pain,

why don't you give me a chance to make that feeling wane?

Because I know I wouldn't make you feel that way,

and I wouldn't leave if only you'd ask me to stay.

Your heart would be safe with me,

why don't you give it a try and see?

Though I won't force you to do something you don't want to do,

But know that while you wait for her, I am here, just waiting too.

Once upon a time

Once upon a time

I felt something for you

coz though your words weren't true

all the same, I hoped, even though I knew.

Once upon a time

I felt that way

and though I didn't say

but seeing you really made my day.

That once upon a time

I shall tell you about.

My feelings were without a doubt.

My heart you had captured, it was a rout.

So of that once upon a time,

all this I'd like you to know.

I don't know if it ever did show

but I think it didn't, this I sincerely hope so.

But that once upon a time

has already come to an end.

I knew you were someone I could not bend

so my dear feelings I had to fend.

So that once upon a time

it is long gone

it was a fight that had to be won

and telling you this marks it as done.

The Sun and The Moon

I'm not always selfish.

I don't always put myself first.

I don't always try to keep everything for myself.

I can be selfless too.

Though it is true that I am greedy at times,

But when it comes to the people I care about,

I forget my own desires,

And try my best to provide.

And it may sound cliché and overused,

But I say their happiness is enough for me.

Even if I have to give when I myself do not have much, I will.

For them, I will.

And even if they may not care for me,

Like the way I care for them,

It matters not.

Just being of help to them will suffice.

It doesn't even matter

If they come to me in times of dire need,

Because it could have been none at all,

I am glad enough to be their Moon during the blackest of nights.

And if to say, they love someone else, someone that is their Sun.

I will not stand in their way.

I will be happy for them,

And continue to light their nights when the Sun is not around.

You might call me foolish, or a martyr even,

But the truth is, I'd rather see them happy,

Even if it means I must give up what I long for.

I am willing to make this sacrifice.

You Have No Idea

You have no idea at all, do you?

The effect you have on me

even the little things you do

sends my mind on a confusion spree

When you smile that smile of yours

And the way you have me wondering, hoping.

How you keep me in your magnetic force

even though all I wanna do now is start running.

But you have no idea at all

or maybe you do

and this is you leading me to take the fall

while keeping me from ever reaching you.

Wishful thinking

I know it is my own fault.

Who in their right mind would let themselves fall for a friend?

I knew better than to let it get to this,

But still, I did nothing to avoid what could've been prevented.

What is worse, is I could never tell.

Because I know that it would only complicate matters.

And I also know that you only see me as a friend,

And it is another that you like, another that you seek.

Sometimes I think what if..

And imagine how it would feel.

To capture that love of yours..

To be that apple of your eyes..

But I shouldn't dwell on such ideas.

I shouldn't feed more fodder to my fantasies.

I shouldn't... I really shouldn't.

But I do... And I can't seem to stop myself.

Because in my dreams, I see you and I.

And though it is foolish to wish it so,

Maybe it might even happen, if I wish enough

underneath these stars.

Sweet Rendezvous

I close my eyes, and open it to your face.

Here we are again; Together.

You take my hand in yours, and whisper to me.

The sound of my name from your lips is akin to a caress.

You tell me words that I've always wanted to hear,

And keep me close to you; our hands intertwined.

I give in to the sweet surrender which is your embrace.

..As the world around us slowly drifts away.

But not long until I am forced back to reality,

And have to face the truth that there is no you and me.

I am to live my day, still able to spend it with you,

But not in your arms, not in the milieu of your love.

I have to accept that I am not the one in your heart.

It cannot be I; I am just a friend.

I should be content with whatever we merely are,

'Tis better, than not have anything to do with you at all.

But when the day ends, our rendezvous draws near.

And I visit the only place where there can be a 'you and I'.

It is the place where anything and all are possible.

And here, my desires and fantasies are made real.

Because here in my land of make-believe,

There is an us; You are mine.

And though I know this isn't where I really belong,

I find escape from reality, and close my eyes...again